What 2018 taught me…

It’s that time of year again. Time to recap, reflect and recalibrate for the new year. 2018 has been one for the books. I have had an undoubtedly transformative year chock-full with a plethora of lessons. This year, I’ve decided that instead of simply doing a recap, I will share with you a few of those life lessons. I know everyone loves a listicle, so I have narrowed it down to the top 5.

Lesson #1: Set boundaries.

Throughout the year, this has been a recurring message. I’ve had people completely disregard my right to say no. No is a sentence, and you don’t have to like it. You aren’t allowed to make me feel guilty for protecting my energy, time or personal interest. I don’t care if you think I could/should accommodate your request. I don’t care if you think I’m being unreasonable. It’s not about you, I am doing this FOR me. Boundaries have definitely been a major theme in my life this year and I think if we all created and respected boundaries, life would be a lot simpler. Of note, I have also realized, that when you fail to set boundaries, people will have absolutely no conscience when they exploit you to fulfill their own agenda. You will be left feeling used and empty in the end. Know what you want so that you can know what you don’t want so you can show people in exactly which direction they should fuck off.

Lesson #2: Take care of yourself.

Self-love and self-care have been the HOT topics all year round; what they forget to mention however is that it’s not always pretty. As nice as it is to think that it’s all rainbows and butterflies (Maroon 5 reference, haha.), self-care can hurt. It can be grueling, it can be painful, it can be UGLY, but that’s not to say that is isn’t necessary. A major part of taking care of yourself is not forgetting that the dark parts of your soul, the part you thought you buried, needs love too. You have to embrace ALL of you. You have to LOVE ALL OF YOU. Those 2am moments where you’ve binged yourself into a Netflix stupor and cried until you can’t cry anymore, that’s also self-care. It’s all a part of the process. The point of self-care is to get in touch with what you need and sometimes what you need is to bawl your eyes out.

Lesson #3: Jealousy sometimes masquerades itself as “concern”

You know those moments when you’re excited about something happening in your life and you tell the people closest to you, only to be met with a bag of negativity and they claim it’s because they’re concerned. Have they offered possible solutions to the negative outcomes they’ve presented to you? Have they offered to help? If the answer is no, then I’m sorry to break it to you baby, there’s a very great chance that they’re Jealous. Often times, the people closest to you are also a little jealous of you. Sometimes it masks itself in silent competition, other times in outright nonchalance, whatever form it takes; BE AWARE. You know that old cliché, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Always ensure the people in your boat are paddling and not drilling holes.

Lesson #4: It’s okay to be alone.

2018 has taught me that sometimes you’re the only person keeping a friendship/relationship/situationship alive; the minute you stop trying, it vanishes into thin air. I’m here to tell you, don’t be afraid to let that shit go. Stop trying to revive a dead plant. The many “ships” of our lives should require mutual effort. Stop placing people on pedestals. Stop making their happiness more important than yours. Stop putting yourself second and if that means you have to be a little lonely in the in-between then so be it. Being alone is NOT the worse thing that could happen to you in life. Being alone has taught me some of the most beautiful lessons. You learn how to be self-sufficient. You learn that you can rely on yourself. That thing you thought you couldn’t do, look at you learning to do it with all your newly found free time since you stop going back and forth with these heauxs. That fear you had of being alone, you’ll get to see yourself conquer it. You’ll learn that your company is the best company you could possibly have because guess what people will come in and out of your life, the only constant is YOU. Far too often we accept sub-par relationships and friendships because of sentimental attachment and comfort. Start demanding more of yourself, you deserve it. There is tremendous strength in learning to be alone. Say no to half-assing in 2019. No half-assed friendships, no half-assed relationships, no half-assed YOU.

Lesson #5: Never stop growing.

This is the fifth and final lesson I’d like to share with you going into the new year. NEVER FORGET TO GROW. Physically we stop growing by our early 20’s. I really wish more people would realize that doesn’t mean that they have to MENTALLY stop growing too. Far too many “grown-ups” are stuck in adolescent thinking. Stop just existing, you have the potential to be great. Every experience, every interaction, every THING you encounter in your lifespan is meant to teach you a lesson. Growth is painful, but it is NECESSARY. Ironically, I hadn’t realized how much I’ve changed and how many people have noticed said change. This year, I’ve received reassurance in the strangest of ways. I am happy that I have been able to grow and I promise that I will never stop growing. I apologize to anyone who I may have been toxic to in this past year but I do not apologize for the lesson I taught you. We’re all a villain in someone’s story and that’s okay. Some days what we need is coffee and not a glass of champagne, that doesn’t make one of them better than the other; tastes change, moods change, tides change… what makes you think people are any different? Never stop Growing.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. lol.

Adjust those Crowns, Many more Kingdoms to be Conquered.

Happy New Year my Royal Family!!! I love you all and appreciate that you’ve taken time out of your busy schedule to read my words, I am eternally grateful that you would share your energy with me. Love and Light in the new year and I hope you had an insightful 2018.  A bright and prosperous 2019 to you all.